Hello Pastor Kech,
I’m very sorry I took a long time to respond to your mail, I really wanted to find time to write a detailed testimony e-mail as you had requested. First of all, I am so thankful for your ministry, you have been a blessing to me since I started following sermons from The Carpenter’s Church and Fresh Dew. I can testify that the Word of God alone, is transforming me every day. I learn so much, about who I am in Christ, about the Bigness of my God, His love, His grace, His will; and my faith grows more and more as I hear.
I am also inspired by your ministry, as a woman and young minister; you are a model of courage, boldness and humility. Your confidence in the undiluted Word inspires me so much, Thank you Pastor.
Coming back to my testimony, last year the Holy Spirit led me to a long desert, for my good and the Glory of God. What started as a mild insomnia quickly became a long depression that I had not expected. I was born in Rwanda and grew up in a loving and fairly wealthy family of five kids. I have never lacked anything. I have always been a “strong” young lady, the Lord had graced me with so many gifts and talents, and I went through life with no obstacles. I always had good grades since high school, I graduated with honours in University and obtained a scholarship for a Master’s Degree in Canada. Success was my portion :-)… Even after I got saved back in 2000, the Lord poured His favour over my life.
I started ministering as a worship leader, first in my local church in Rwanda and later on here in CANADA. I was also involved in various ministries at church, with less and less time to be refreshed in the Word and in the presence of God. I grew more and more confident not in the grace of God but in myself, in my ability to pray, my ability to preach, my works. And that was when God, in His mercy, stopped me on my track. I started having insomnia, I went on medication, then stronger medication, started battling thoughts of condemnation, the devil convincing me that I had never been saved, that I didn’t love God enough, that I had never really served God with the right motives… I started having suicidal thoughts, since I knew there was nothing else to live for, if I didn’t have Christ. I was unable to function at all. Unable to pray, unable to serve, unable to read the Word of God. I lost so much weight that I remember having to start shopping for clothes in the teenagers sections.
I had to go stay with my brother and his family, and that is how I met Grace. I remember seeing her for the first time, in a Bible study group that I had joined at my brother’s church, and something in her was just so peaceful, so loving, so quiet yet strong, just the glory of God on her. I felt compelled to approach her and share my story with her. And since then, it seems that I have always known her. She took care of me, she prayed for me, she counseled me, she received me in her home, despite the dangerous state I was in at the time, and she agonized in prayer for me. I was amazed by such love! Why would a stranger cry for me? But more importantly, she kept speaking the Word of God over my life, for any of my questions; she had an answer straight from the Word of God. For every encouragement, it was never her speaking but the Word, the Word, the Word. Yet, I was still convinced that it was too late for me and that I had somehow “disappointed” God.
One day in October 2016, as I was just sitting in the living room, the Lord spoke to me through Jeremiah 18:1-10. He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand” (v.5). He first stated that there’s never a situation in which it is too late for Him to intervene. And then, so tenderly, He started to reveal to me who I am in Jesus Christ, what adoption means, what forgiveness means, what grace and salvation means. It was like I was just discovering the gospel for the first time. God doesn’t love me because of everything that I do but He CHOSE to love me. Nothing that I can do, nothing that I will do will NEVER increase or decrease His love for me. “…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
I am FREE!! From any condemnation, from any guilt, from any ritual and works to please God, I am already pleasing to Him IN Jesus Christ, who paid FULLY for ALL my sins. That was my freedom day! And I discovered the Word of God as a powerful, POWERFUL weapon against any stronghold. The devil was defeated… Slowly but surely, I got off medication, I started eating again, I went back to work, went back to ministry, and went back to life.
Grace has been and is still such a source of encouragement for me, always pointing me to Christ, praying with me and proving sound advices. At a certain point, I had to ask her “You have got to tell me in what type of church you got your foundation from”. Ain’t no way her wisdom would just come from her granma… and that’s how she introduced me to your church. I have discovered your secret: the incorruptible Word.
Thank you so much for your ministry, please know that your labour is not in vain, you are teaching and encouraging so many all around the world and the Lord, the just judge, will reward you. There’s a crown coming up!
Be encouraged Pastor, as well as the leadership of the Carpenter’s Church. I pray “that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him” (Eph.1:17). May He keep your heart and mind devoted to Him alone and to His Word, may He grant you to lead many to Him, may He keep you, bless you and provide for every of your needs.